Procrastination Station

Hey There!

This will be a brief entry. Namely to say that I did it again and to remind myself that I enjoy it. And maybe even convince myself that I am a good writer, too.

See, I'm working on an application for a teaching fellows program. It's probably the easiest application I have ever tried to fill out. And yet, here I am with an epic case of writer's block. Three essays, at 200 words each, and this woman who wrote a Master's thesis in two weeks can't seem to find the words. As my last degree is in counseling, of course I am trying to find out why this blockage is happening.

The best thing I can come up with is fear. And the only reason I know this is fear is because I recognize the symptom. Which is procrastination.

I haven't decided whether or not I really want this new gig as a teacher in the inner-city, but at the same time I haven't decided that I don't want it. I typically don't get things that i really really want so I suppose my fear is that i will learn that I do want it...and then not get it. So maybe I do want it.

Know what else is scary? If I did get this, it would bring a lot of change. But probably the most terrifying? If I don't get this, nothing would change.

Fuck. I gotta get this.

And in the midst of earthquakes and war, I am AMAZED at how blessed I am to announce that this is what scares me.

Alright, back to the grind.

With MUCH love...

ghg~