I work. I work for compassion and love and light. And a pay check.
I work to not compare myself to those who work while holding together a family nor those whose work is their children and I see clearly that for some there is no choice.
I work because worrying amounts to nothing.
I work on planes/in coffee shops/near dying people and hopeful healers/in cars/at birthdays/on vacations. I work in heels.
I work to sweep my porch and the porches of my neighbors with hopes they, too, will reach and help the neighbors I cannot.
I work to support my sisters whose hearts inspire clear voices designed to direct change. And I work also for my sisters who quietly march in their daily life to share compassion and light in every moment right where they stand. Right now.
For each of these women have courage and passion and heart. Together across the continuum of sisterhood we work.
Daily.
Kindly.
Bravely.
Boldly.
We women work.
*This is not a political post. This is a promise to myself and to you.
Friday, January 20, 2017
Monday, April 27, 2015
Day 2: Most Certainly P. Capital P.
DAY 2: How have you changed in the past 2 years?
Lord. What hasn't changed? To spout off a couple of quick ones: My hair's longer, my waist is smaller, I live in Ohio, I use wrinkle cream, I wear red lipstick with confidence, I wear heels less, I spend money on good seats at concerts, I am a senior team member at work, I walk to work, I went skiing, did I mention that I LIVE IN OHIO?!?!?! I've lost friends, I've made new ones. I've lost boys, I got new ones. I lost my path and passion and I'm working on getting that back. And frankly as someone who is a creative, mindful, and slightly introverted type, change is something I work for at all times. Progress, not perfection.
And despite all my efforts to have my outer-confidence match an inner strength, the one thing in my world that has not, will not, cannot ever change creates the greatest barrier to this peace. (Trite saying you might find on a pillow forthcoming...) The only thing certain is uncertainty. And with uncertainty comes the dreaded What Ifs. What if this happens? Or what if it doesn't? Will my boss be mad? Will he break up with me? What if I stay? But then what if I go? What if I fail? What if...what if...what if...And really our fears and anxiety grow from the What Ifs, . I heard someone speak on my favorite podcast recently (and I'll work on finding the proper source) say something to the effect of...the key to happiness is not things, or the right people, or the right body, or the right job, or the right anything, rather it's our ability to handle the uncertainty that life brings every day. Listen again:
It's our ability for faith, trust, grace, community, and compassion and our ability to stay open and our ability to be still with pain and challenge and fear. It's why a lot of people put their uncertainty into the hands of spiritual and religious entities. The weight of that uncertainty is a TON for one person to carry alone.
And in addition to this, creating my completely unsatisfying truth, on the Myers Briggs Scale on the J/P spectrum I test P for 'perceptions". This result associates my preference to take in information when interacting with the outer world. This does not make me more or less introverted and this trait can clearly be seen when making decisions. According to the site, "Sometimes I stay open to taking in information so long that I miss a chance to make a decision at all". I can what if a situation to death before it's even off the ground. And not that I am unable to make decisions (I mean I'm going to be the last to order at dinner...so get used to that), but when interacting with the outside world it's almost like I get so into the process and the journey that I forget the goal. I'm the opposite of people who forget to find joy in the journey - or whatever that pillow saying is. And truly, my P-ness (teehee) is also what makes me very good at my job. So I don't want to discredit this observational state, nor being 'spontaneous, a burst of energy (with a counter burst of nothing), and...loose and casual appearance'. It suits me and I am a successful adult.
But I'd be lying if I didn't say I wish it were different. Like I mentioned, the what ifs cause the anxieties in us...who wants that for themselves, especially if it's something we recognize! nd I've always been this way.Parents and teachers can all offer stories of me as a child panicking over choices and consequences. Stories, that Amy Poehler says, "creates the deep grooves in the vinyl of my life." It's my P-ness. It's totally Gage.
And hardest part of it all is that if I allow it, my P-ness can produce paralyzing anxiety FROM NOWHERE. The other day this actually where my mind took me...I'm not making this up:
...Planning a trip for a friend to come spend a week with me from Hawaii....
...we should go to Nashville for a couple nights...
...I wonder if anyone is playing at the Ryman...
...The Ryman is on my bucket list...
...Mother went to the Ryman recently.
...Closest I have ever been to the Ryman was eating a hotdog outside of it after my friend DirtyBear's wedding
...I would love to have a wedding in a space like she did.
...what if I never get married.
WAIT, WHAT?!?!?! Yup. Seriously a 20 seconds progression and I spent about 20 minutes on the idea that I may not ever get married and whether I was really REALLY okay with it. But this panic can only exists with that fear of what if. what if. what if. what if. So in recent years I have found that by looking the anxiety in the eye and saying, "yeah...what if...now get moving" I can get past it. Usually.
I just have to remember to do it and not stand in my own way.
And if your P-ness is getting in your way, you should remember to do it too. And certainly don't let those who are better at making decisions (J's on the Myers Briggs) get in your way or bring you down, either. Their ability to make such fast decision can cause envy and sometimes anger because they won't let you take your time and if you start to compare yourself to those who can make choices easily...oye. Comparisons and self-doubt and more what-ifs. . I recently went to the market with capital J and as I was circling the store for the second time assessing all the goods offered he said, "you're pace is maddening". Yeah well, my decision of what to make was all based on what the store had so that I didn't have to go to another. So it was all very precise and ultimately time saving but he got frustrated and walked outside to wait. I circled the store a third time. And made amazing guacamole. DON'T LET OTHERS J-NESS GET IN THE WAY OF YOU P-NESS!
And that's not to say that J's need not practice in keeping their What Ifs away. They aren't off the hook entirely and I am certain there comes anxiety with making and believing in precise and definitive choices. So let's practice facing the uncertainty together. Let's be patient and kind with each other as we try to figure out why today's uncertainty might take longer to move past. Let's help each other through candid moments as we fumble along this this uncertain ride.
Away we go,
Gage
Lord. What hasn't changed? To spout off a couple of quick ones: My hair's longer, my waist is smaller, I live in Ohio, I use wrinkle cream, I wear red lipstick with confidence, I wear heels less, I spend money on good seats at concerts, I am a senior team member at work, I walk to work, I went skiing, did I mention that I LIVE IN OHIO?!?!?! I've lost friends, I've made new ones. I've lost boys, I got new ones. I lost my path and passion and I'm working on getting that back. And frankly as someone who is a creative, mindful, and slightly introverted type, change is something I work for at all times. Progress, not perfection.
And despite all my efforts to have my outer-confidence match an inner strength, the one thing in my world that has not, will not, cannot ever change creates the greatest barrier to this peace. (Trite saying you might find on a pillow forthcoming...) The only thing certain is uncertainty. And with uncertainty comes the dreaded What Ifs. What if this happens? Or what if it doesn't? Will my boss be mad? Will he break up with me? What if I stay? But then what if I go? What if I fail? What if...what if...what if...And really our fears and anxiety grow from the What Ifs, . I heard someone speak on my favorite podcast recently (and I'll work on finding the proper source) say something to the effect of...the key to happiness is not things, or the right people, or the right body, or the right job, or the right anything, rather it's our ability to handle the uncertainty that life brings every day. Listen again:
It is our ability to handle the uncertainty that life brings every day.
And in addition to this, creating my completely unsatisfying truth, on the Myers Briggs Scale on the J/P spectrum I test P for 'perceptions". This result associates my preference to take in information when interacting with the outer world. This does not make me more or less introverted and this trait can clearly be seen when making decisions. According to the site, "Sometimes I stay open to taking in information so long that I miss a chance to make a decision at all". I can what if a situation to death before it's even off the ground. And not that I am unable to make decisions (I mean I'm going to be the last to order at dinner...so get used to that), but when interacting with the outside world it's almost like I get so into the process and the journey that I forget the goal. I'm the opposite of people who forget to find joy in the journey - or whatever that pillow saying is. And truly, my P-ness (teehee) is also what makes me very good at my job. So I don't want to discredit this observational state, nor being 'spontaneous, a burst of energy (with a counter burst of nothing), and...loose and casual appearance'. It suits me and I am a successful adult.
But I'd be lying if I didn't say I wish it were different. Like I mentioned, the what ifs cause the anxieties in us...who wants that for themselves, especially if it's something we recognize! nd I've always been this way.Parents and teachers can all offer stories of me as a child panicking over choices and consequences. Stories, that Amy Poehler says, "creates the deep grooves in the vinyl of my life." It's my P-ness. It's totally Gage.
And hardest part of it all is that if I allow it, my P-ness can produce paralyzing anxiety FROM NOWHERE. The other day this actually where my mind took me...I'm not making this up:
...Planning a trip for a friend to come spend a week with me from Hawaii....
...we should go to Nashville for a couple nights...
...I wonder if anyone is playing at the Ryman...
...The Ryman is on my bucket list...
...Mother went to the Ryman recently.
...Closest I have ever been to the Ryman was eating a hotdog outside of it after my friend DirtyBear's wedding
...I would love to have a wedding in a space like she did.
...what if I never get married.
WAIT, WHAT?!?!?! Yup. Seriously a 20 seconds progression and I spent about 20 minutes on the idea that I may not ever get married and whether I was really REALLY okay with it. But this panic can only exists with that fear of what if. what if. what if. what if. So in recent years I have found that by looking the anxiety in the eye and saying, "yeah...what if...now get moving" I can get past it. Usually.
I just have to remember to do it and not stand in my own way.
And if your P-ness is getting in your way, you should remember to do it too. And certainly don't let those who are better at making decisions (J's on the Myers Briggs) get in your way or bring you down, either. Their ability to make such fast decision can cause envy and sometimes anger because they won't let you take your time and if you start to compare yourself to those who can make choices easily...oye. Comparisons and self-doubt and more what-ifs. . I recently went to the market with capital J and as I was circling the store for the second time assessing all the goods offered he said, "you're pace is maddening". Yeah well, my decision of what to make was all based on what the store had so that I didn't have to go to another. So it was all very precise and ultimately time saving but he got frustrated and walked outside to wait. I circled the store a third time. And made amazing guacamole. DON'T LET OTHERS J-NESS GET IN THE WAY OF YOU P-NESS!
And that's not to say that J's need not practice in keeping their What Ifs away. They aren't off the hook entirely and I am certain there comes anxiety with making and believing in precise and definitive choices. So let's practice facing the uncertainty together. Let's be patient and kind with each other as we try to figure out why today's uncertainty might take longer to move past. Let's help each other through candid moments as we fumble along this this uncertain ride.
Away we go,
Gage
Monday, April 20, 2015
Day 1 - I'm Always Alone...
I've been listening to a lot of podcast lately, most having the themes of human behavior, habit formation, and passion seeking. For those that know me best might agree that it's my human behavior not to form habits and manifest passion wherever I stand so that I may create pleasure for myself. I'm a butterfly chaser. A tiny girl on top of a windy hill on a sunny day with a net, yet with the age and wisdom in my heart to know that you can't catch anything that way. But what all these podcasts tell me is that really you'll never catch anything if you don't know what you're chasing. So i've been reflecting a lot on what I want to go after. A lot. Like from the moment I wake up to my last meditative breath at night. When i walk to work, when I run, when I shower, when I stare at the walls (more on that hobby soon), it is ever on my mind.
And what all the podcast'ers tell me is small steps are the most important ones. I really enjoy writing. I really lack self-discipline that it takes to become a "real" writer. Plus I have no idea what I'd be writing if I said, 'sit down and write for an hour every day'. Or every Tuesday or...whatever. Habit forming and self-discipline are not attributes i'm know for. But I WANT to write. I want to use the platform to help me process things. I WANT this to be something I NEED. It's my hope that the practice of writing will lend itself to the habit of creativity and the benefits of a clear mind.
They say that taking small steps consistently add up to meaningful progress. But where do I begin? Right next to self-discipline, and habit formation, decision making is also on my list of things I suck at. So I do what any modern lady would do when looking for advice...I turned to Pinterest.
And there I found, as one of my favorite bloggers suggested I may, a 30 Day Blogging challenge. I actually found about 300. And due to the aforementioned issues with decision making I just saved the first one I opened and backed away slowly from the rest. So I'm going to do it. Starting now. Be certain this will take longer than 30 days as there is zero chance this will happen consecutively. Zero. But away we go.
And what all the podcast'ers tell me is small steps are the most important ones. I really enjoy writing. I really lack self-discipline that it takes to become a "real" writer. Plus I have no idea what I'd be writing if I said, 'sit down and write for an hour every day'. Or every Tuesday or...whatever. Habit forming and self-discipline are not attributes i'm know for. But I WANT to write. I want to use the platform to help me process things. I WANT this to be something I NEED. It's my hope that the practice of writing will lend itself to the habit of creativity and the benefits of a clear mind.
They say that taking small steps consistently add up to meaningful progress. But where do I begin? Right next to self-discipline, and habit formation, decision making is also on my list of things I suck at. So I do what any modern lady would do when looking for advice...I turned to Pinterest.
And there I found, as one of my favorite bloggers suggested I may, a 30 Day Blogging challenge. I actually found about 300. And due to the aforementioned issues with decision making I just saved the first one I opened and backed away slowly from the rest. So I'm going to do it. Starting now. Be certain this will take longer than 30 days as there is zero chance this will happen consecutively. Zero. But away we go.
Day ONE: What are weird things you do when you're alone.
Of course day one and I'm already picking this question apart too tiny inoperable pieces. But the truth is that I am always alone. I am a very social person, I live in the center of a fairly large city, and obviously go to work, but I am a single woman who lives alone so 99% of what I do alone is self-sustaining tedious tasks. I sweep. I do the dishes, I work out, I get on Facebook so that I don't feel alone, I talk to my dog, I sing out loud, I write a million to do lists about my chores, and I do laundry all the fucking time. Seriously the amount of laundry that one woman can produce is remarkable.
But all of that is incredibly normal. Right? It's the shit that has to get done because I only have myself to blame if the garbage stinks up the place because it hasn't been taken out.
So now is where I confess one thing that I don't consider weird but imagine if you saw it you might think it is. I can sit perfectly still in a quiet room and stare at a wall. When my body stops moving my mind is given the chance to go out on it's own, I will stare for hours. I have before regretted how long my staring session went because I didn't simply didn't press play on the next episode of a Netflix bender and thus fell behind on my stories. Did you understand the volume of this issue: I IGNORED A PERFECTLY GOOD NETFLIX BENDER TO SIT ON THE COUCH IN SILENCE. The last one lasted nearly 2 hours.
So what do I do in that time? I look closely at my anxieties, recreate conversations that I wish would have gone better, I practice conversations that I am dreading, and sometimes I just make lists about my favorite songs based on the weather outside my window.
Unlike self-discipline, being still is a strength. It's when I do the best listening to my heart and try to encourage my feet to get moving. I honestly should do it more. And if that's weird or wrong, I don't want to be right. Part of me wishes I had to confess something like eating an entire jar of peanut butter with a knife or something...Alas, maybe the super weird will come out on Day 2.
Away we go,
Gage~
Friday, January 16, 2015
Wellness Gage - Away We Gooooooooooo
I'm not a competitive person. I'm a competitor. But if you need to win, go ahead. I don't want to ruin the day because you're going to be grumpy if you lose. I guess you could say I always root for the party but I have never had a fire. This has both helped and hindered me over the years in various aspects of my life, but for better or worse it's me.
So how do I create a focus to work towards success?
I'm not a skinny person. I have always wanted to be but really the "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" is the biggest load of crap I have every heard in my life. I can think of endless things that taste better than that. Ever had the duck fat tater tots at The Merchant in Nashville? Yeah. I have.To be clear, I am not not necessarily fat either. But I guess you could say I'd rather party and when you diet I feel like I'm missing out on the party. This has both helped and hindered me over the years in various aspects of my life, but for better or worst it's me.
So how do I find a balance between my desire to look skinny naked and the want to have wine and duck fat tater tots?
I am not a wife or a mom. I have always hoped to be but being a single professional woman is the reality of my identity right now. If don't take the trash out it doesn't get taken out. I work my ass off for self-preservation and this is sometimes manifested as selfishness. This has both hindered and helped me over the years in various aspects of my life, but for better or worse it's me.
So how can I connect to a community that holds me accountable for relationships while maintaing my self-value?
All of these questions are subjective and intended for me to reflect on my life's journey. And really a journey to what or where is also subjective. Where you're going and how you get there very often is driven by where you have been but we have to be willing to recognize the challenges and fight thru them to get to where we can be our best self and member of families and communities. There is no right answer. There's only you and your perspective of where you stand now compared to where you want to go.
So how would you answer those questions? And are these even the same questions you need to ask yourself? Perspective establishes the goals, motivation, and philosophy that gets you moving forward.
I am excited to announce that I am starting a new chapter in my personal journey and now a Beach Body Independent Coach! If you are looking for way to set goals, work for a balanced personal and nutritional wellness, and be a part of a wonderfully supportive and inspiring community, I invite you to join me on my journey.
Follow Wellness Gage on FB: https://www.facebook.com/wellnessgage
www.beachbodycoach.com/greatgageby
www.myshakeology.com/greatgageby
Be well,
Gage~
So how do I create a focus to work towards success?
I'm not a skinny person. I have always wanted to be but really the "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" is the biggest load of crap I have every heard in my life. I can think of endless things that taste better than that. Ever had the duck fat tater tots at The Merchant in Nashville? Yeah. I have.To be clear, I am not not necessarily fat either. But I guess you could say I'd rather party and when you diet I feel like I'm missing out on the party. This has both helped and hindered me over the years in various aspects of my life, but for better or worst it's me.
So how do I find a balance between my desire to look skinny naked and the want to have wine and duck fat tater tots?
I am not a wife or a mom. I have always hoped to be but being a single professional woman is the reality of my identity right now. If don't take the trash out it doesn't get taken out. I work my ass off for self-preservation and this is sometimes manifested as selfishness. This has both hindered and helped me over the years in various aspects of my life, but for better or worse it's me.
So how can I connect to a community that holds me accountable for relationships while maintaing my self-value?
All of these questions are subjective and intended for me to reflect on my life's journey. And really a journey to what or where is also subjective. Where you're going and how you get there very often is driven by where you have been but we have to be willing to recognize the challenges and fight thru them to get to where we can be our best self and member of families and communities. There is no right answer. There's only you and your perspective of where you stand now compared to where you want to go.
So how would you answer those questions? And are these even the same questions you need to ask yourself? Perspective establishes the goals, motivation, and philosophy that gets you moving forward.
I am excited to announce that I am starting a new chapter in my personal journey and now a Beach Body Independent Coach! If you are looking for way to set goals, work for a balanced personal and nutritional wellness, and be a part of a wonderfully supportive and inspiring community, I invite you to join me on my journey.
Follow Wellness Gage on FB: https://www.facebook.com/wellnessgage
www.beachbodycoach.com/greatgageby
www.myshakeology.com/greatgageby
Be well,
Gage~
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Auld Lang Syne is Really Sad.
My friend Laura emailed me a reflective quiz at the beginning of 2013. I remember filling it out quickly and easily and she often encouraged me to share it here, but I obviously didn't. I'm not sure why I had reservations but when she posted the quiz on her blog again I decided to waste no time and spend a quick minute reflecting on the year's past (Auld Lange Syne) and look forward to the potential of 2014.
1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?
Hm. Right out the gate and I'm not sure that my adventures were truly unique. I traveled a TON for pleasure this year but no new cities. I guess I saw over 20 bands many of them new to me. Some notable bands that I LOVE and finally got to see in person? Passion Pit. Alabama Shakes. The Killers were actually a great show too. New bands I found on the road? Toro y Moi. Fitz and the Tantrums. Bethesda. And some old favorties that I was lucky to see again? Justin Timberlake and JayZ, The Avett Brothers, and The Indigo Girls.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions and will you make any for next year?
2013. I don't remember really. I think I had some goals but really I have no idea what I said. I will say that I got out of Credit Card debt and that was definitely a big long term goal checked off the list.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Everyone. Is. Pregnant. All. The. Time. I remember this question from last year and didn't think it could get worse...er better. But this year I welcomed Amelia, Ian, Stella, Jones, Jude, Parker, Jack, Harper, Sophie, Olivia, Malory, and Luke. And due within the first four weeks of Jan I am expecting The Twins, Deuce, and Lil Buddy and many others already announced bundles for 2014. So yeah. I had a few.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My Uncle Tom and dear friends Jamie Cusentino and Barb Camack.
5. What countries did you visit?
I didn't leave the States this year but I went to Jackson MS, Dallas TX, Chicago, St. Simon GA, Lake Norris TN, St Louis, Brown Co IN, Irvine KY, Nashville a couple times...Really a great year on the road.
6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013? Committment. I failed to give or receive a relevent commitment this year. Always looking at the next step.
7. What date stands out in your mind.
July 22. Yes my birthday but it was an incredible day in Chicago when I saw Justin Timberlake, Jay Z, and we welcomed Prince George.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I was selected to the Multiple Sclerosis Leadership Class of 2013 and since have joined their Board. Love this new group and have loved advocating such an important issue!
9. What was your biggest failure?
I'm not sure it's a true failure, but I wasted a lot of time on things that I knew weren't good for me.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?I am still getting over this flu situation. Despite a flu shot. I had a fever for the first time since probably high school. And I fell out of a bus the other day and skinned my knee. Fact.
11. What was the best thing you bought?I bought a lot of plane and concert tickets this year!!! None better than the others but all wonderful and different experiences.
12. Where did most of your money go?Travel and concerts.
13. What did you get really excited about?JT/Jay Z; Avetts in Nashville, Indigo Girls, Dirty's wedding, UK/Baylor in Dallas...again, but year of exciting experiences.
13. What did you get really excited about?JT/Jay Z; Avetts in Nashville, Indigo Girls, Dirty's wedding, UK/Baylor in Dallas...again, but year of exciting experiences.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I'm not sure it's a true failure, but I wasted a lot of time on things that I knew weren't good for me.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?I am still getting over this flu situation. Despite a flu shot. I had a fever for the first time since probably high school. And I fell out of a bus the other day and skinned my knee. Fact.
11. What was the best thing you bought?I bought a lot of plane and concert tickets this year!!! None better than the others but all wonderful and different experiences.
12. Where did most of your money go?Travel and concerts.
13. What did you get really excited about?JT/Jay Z; Avetts in Nashville, Indigo Girls, Dirty's wedding, UK/Baylor in Dallas...again, but year of exciting experiences.
16. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Gone home before midnight. And I only went to a few baseball games.
17. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Chasing the future.
18. How did you spend Christmas?Sick in my mothers bed with a fever of 101.
19. What was your favorite TV program?
Newsroom. Girls. Breaking Bad.
20. What were your favorite books of the year?
I swear to you I'm still reading the same book I started over a year ago.
21. What was your favorite music from this year?
Vampire Weekend, Justin Timberlake, Avetts, Chvrches, and Lorde
22. What were your favorite films of the year?
Nothing really stands out. I watched way more TV shows than movies. And that answer is Breaking Bad.
23. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I was in Chicago with some of my favorite people. I woke up in the Trump Towers on Michigan Ave, had some lunch, did some shopping, tailgate (and shotgunned beer) for Justin Timberlake and Jay Z to sing me some birthday songs. I got to see Soldier Field for the first time without watching a single moment of football and I danced my sweaty ass off. I mean you only turn 32 once.
24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
My job was pretty unsatisfying this year. But I'm starting to learn that work is just unsatisfying.
25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
If target doesn't have it I don't need it, but just in case I'll look at Nordstrom.
26. What kept you sane?
Always my family.
27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.
My gut is always right and no matter how hard my head tries to convince me otherwise....my gut is always right. And the longer it takes to tell my head to back off the harder and sadder the lesson. But on the other side, the sooner I speak up on behalf of my gut my sky rockets! My gut is always right.
So that's it. Hope you all had a safe and wonderful holiday season and I look foward to seeing what 2014 will bring our way!
Boogy On.
g~
1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?
Hm. Right out the gate and I'm not sure that my adventures were truly unique. I traveled a TON for pleasure this year but no new cities. I guess I saw over 20 bands many of them new to me. Some notable bands that I LOVE and finally got to see in person? Passion Pit. Alabama Shakes. The Killers were actually a great show too. New bands I found on the road? Toro y Moi. Fitz and the Tantrums. Bethesda. And some old favorties that I was lucky to see again? Justin Timberlake and JayZ, The Avett Brothers, and The Indigo Girls.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions and will you make any for next year?
2013. I don't remember really. I think I had some goals but really I have no idea what I said. I will say that I got out of Credit Card debt and that was definitely a big long term goal checked off the list.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Everyone. Is. Pregnant. All. The. Time. I remember this question from last year and didn't think it could get worse...er better. But this year I welcomed Amelia, Ian, Stella, Jones, Jude, Parker, Jack, Harper, Sophie, Olivia, Malory, and Luke. And due within the first four weeks of Jan I am expecting The Twins, Deuce, and Lil Buddy and many others already announced bundles for 2014. So yeah. I had a few.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My Uncle Tom and dear friends Jamie Cusentino and Barb Camack.
5. What countries did you visit?
I didn't leave the States this year but I went to Jackson MS, Dallas TX, Chicago, St. Simon GA, Lake Norris TN, St Louis, Brown Co IN, Irvine KY, Nashville a couple times...Really a great year on the road.
6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013? Committment. I failed to give or receive a relevent commitment this year. Always looking at the next step.
7. What date stands out in your mind.
July 22. Yes my birthday but it was an incredible day in Chicago when I saw Justin Timberlake, Jay Z, and we welcomed Prince George.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I was selected to the Multiple Sclerosis Leadership Class of 2013 and since have joined their Board. Love this new group and have loved advocating such an important issue!
9. What was your biggest failure?
I'm not sure it's a true failure, but I wasted a lot of time on things that I knew weren't good for me.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?I am still getting over this flu situation. Despite a flu shot. I had a fever for the first time since probably high school. And I fell out of a bus the other day and skinned my knee. Fact.
11. What was the best thing you bought?I bought a lot of plane and concert tickets this year!!! None better than the others but all wonderful and different experiences.
12. Where did most of your money go?Travel and concerts.
13. What did you get really excited about?JT/Jay Z; Avetts in Nashville, Indigo Girls, Dirty's wedding, UK/Baylor in Dallas...again, but year of exciting experiences.
13. What did you get really excited about?JT/Jay Z; Avetts in Nashville, Indigo Girls, Dirty's wedding, UK/Baylor in Dallas...again, but year of exciting experiences.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I'm not sure it's a true failure, but I wasted a lot of time on things that I knew weren't good for me.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?I am still getting over this flu situation. Despite a flu shot. I had a fever for the first time since probably high school. And I fell out of a bus the other day and skinned my knee. Fact.
11. What was the best thing you bought?I bought a lot of plane and concert tickets this year!!! None better than the others but all wonderful and different experiences.
12. Where did most of your money go?Travel and concerts.
13. What did you get really excited about?JT/Jay Z; Avetts in Nashville, Indigo Girls, Dirty's wedding, UK/Baylor in Dallas...again, but year of exciting experiences.
16. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Gone home before midnight. And I only went to a few baseball games.
17. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Chasing the future.
18. How did you spend Christmas?Sick in my mothers bed with a fever of 101.
19. What was your favorite TV program?
Newsroom. Girls. Breaking Bad.
20. What were your favorite books of the year?
I swear to you I'm still reading the same book I started over a year ago.
21. What was your favorite music from this year?
Vampire Weekend, Justin Timberlake, Avetts, Chvrches, and Lorde
22. What were your favorite films of the year?
Nothing really stands out. I watched way more TV shows than movies. And that answer is Breaking Bad.
23. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I was in Chicago with some of my favorite people. I woke up in the Trump Towers on Michigan Ave, had some lunch, did some shopping, tailgate (and shotgunned beer) for Justin Timberlake and Jay Z to sing me some birthday songs. I got to see Soldier Field for the first time without watching a single moment of football and I danced my sweaty ass off. I mean you only turn 32 once.
24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
My job was pretty unsatisfying this year. But I'm starting to learn that work is just unsatisfying.
25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
If target doesn't have it I don't need it, but just in case I'll look at Nordstrom.
26. What kept you sane?
Always my family.
27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.
My gut is always right and no matter how hard my head tries to convince me otherwise....my gut is always right. And the longer it takes to tell my head to back off the harder and sadder the lesson. But on the other side, the sooner I speak up on behalf of my gut my sky rockets! My gut is always right.
So that's it. Hope you all had a safe and wonderful holiday season and I look foward to seeing what 2014 will bring our way!
Boogy On.
g~
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Uncommon Success.
Dear Gage,
This upcoming Alumni Reunion Weekend, we will be interviewing notable DePauw alumni for a new Alumni in Action video series. The web video series, which will be produced by a small group of DePauw student interns, aims to communicate the value of utilizing the opportunities offered at DePauw pertaining to career services, off-campus study, Winter Term and service-learning programs. Our goal is to encourage current students to take full advantage of the connections and resources readily available to them on campus, particularly those related to career advising and preparation for life after DePauw.
To preface the interview, we will be asking you to tell us about a specific experience, internship or off-campus study that stood out during your DePauw experience or has impacted where you are today. Additionally, any advice you have for current students on how they can prepare for life after DePauw is helpful as well.
Love,
some 20 year old girl who likely thinks she's got it all worked out.
East College on a Sunny Day.
Her name was actually Lizzie and she was really lovely. And the fact that she was in Greencastle during the summer for an internship shows that she likely does have some things worked out. But I remember Gage the summer before her senior year, too. Anyway.
For those of you who are friendly with Gage on the ol FaceSpace, you probably know that this past weekend was my 10 year college reunion. DePauw University is unique in how they handle their reunions, inviting graduating classes back every 5 years for a weekend on campus for a series of events and general good community gathering. (Note: all other classes with the same integers: '03, '08, '93, '78, etc. are also on campus so there's some really awesome opportunity to learn about the history of the school and those activities you participated in). It's really smart to pull us back on campus to share company with those people we made memories with in the same place where we made those memories. Plus, any of us who worked in development or higher ed can tell you, when you get people back on campus for anything, the liklihood to donate is far greater. My class raised $25,000 for DePauw this campaign. That's actually not a year's tuition anymore. Anyway. It's an AMAZING experience. Not only do I feel lucky enough have gone to college there at all, but the fact that I get to go back every 5 years, live in the dorms, party on porches and try to recreate four years in two days is beyond a blessing.
Really, Gage? Blessing? Really. I do not exaggerate for effect.
So when Lizzie emailed me, obviously I started thinking about what DePauw had "done to prepare me" for where I am today. At best that's a ridiculous question. Not that there weren't amazing opportunities for scholastic and personal development, but any alum will tell you that it's impossible to quantify. Still. I decided that I will focus on my time in Philly, where I learned that I am a city girl and, perhaps most importantly, that I did not want to work in tv production. That's a good idea. I'll focus on the fact that these kids should try everything they are moderately interested in. Getting the answer "no" is often more important when self-exploring.
I'm a genius. These kids will obviously hang on these super insightful words of this notable alum.
The day that Lizzie emailed me I got another email. This one from a pledge sister and dear friend I met in college. She was in labor with her first child! I was going to be an Aunt again soon. Something that I especially cherish when it's not biological. My college girls are my heart and so their joy is mine. We removed her from the email chain and the rest of us spent the day in a vitrual room waiting for our new baby. At first the excitement was tangible as we waited for LA to reach out to AP's husband to get updates and pass on our love and encouragement. (We have this shit down to a science, btw). Conversations got silly and sometimes a little judgy but it was almost like we were actually in a room together. But then after a while we hadn't really heard anything from AP. It was nearly mid afternoon. We were't worried but felt like we should be close and hadn't heard any news.
Update. The baby was face up (bad) and rolling over on his own (bad) so they were trying some things to get the baby ready to come meet his new aunts. Conversation got silly again. We started shouting out songs that had "roll" or "turn" as a hopeless attempt to feel helpful in this situation. Three hours later we still had no word of a baby and our updates were getting less and less.
We were all officially worried. Not that AP wasn't in capable hands of great doctors and the like, but at this point we just knew our friend was exhausted, maybe scared, and that she more than any of us wanted that baby to be safe in her arms. And just how her joy is mine, so is every fear and anxiety. Every two or three minutes we took turns asking, "anything yet?"
Nothing.
Two more hours of pacing, refreshing emails unnecessarily, and even sending emails to make sure that we could receive emails. A long long evening. And then we received the joyful news that our new "little" (9lb) man had arrived and that everyone was doing fine. I was at a concert when I got the email. Cried in public. And this particular band has three synthesizers, so not like some emo shit where it was easy to hide the fact that I was uncontrollably crying with joy. I didn't care to hide it - I was truly thrilled.
So that and similar stories of sharing life events, transitions, fears, and sadness is where I am in my life. And really where I've been since I left DePauw. Yes I have a job. A great job, really. But I'm a pretty capable person and I would have gotten there without DePauw. But here's the thing. I can't imagine getting through any of my goods or bads without these ladies. Hell, just a random Tuesday is better when I have them at my side. And since graduation we have never had all of us in the same room at the same time, but that never changes our level of commitment and love for one another or desire to keep trying to get us in the same room.
And really this weekend showed me the same thing about my graduating class as a whole. It became evident how much time we spent together back then. I had lunch at my sorority where I met most of my best friends. Toured the house, saw all my old rooms, and was flooded with great memories of those ladies. But it was at Beta, a house that I admittedly spent more time in than Theta, in the 5-man (room 10) that I started crying for truly missing college. But also tears filled with joy and thanksgiving for the memories that place provided me. A place that literally still smells of piss and clorox, with rotting couches, chipping paint, a room where I puked on a couch that I am certain I probably had at some point also made out on. I cried and laughed and walked down stairs to tell those same people that actually lived in that room that it was there and for our memories I cried. And they hugged me and asked if I really didn't remember puking on their couch.
For the record, I don't.
See, it's impossible to spend as much time together as we did for four consecutive years and not grow to love and want to support the people around us. And to see the dynamic, kind, funny, and no surprise successful men and women we've grown into makes me so proud and humbled by the company I keep it's overwhelming. But that all started years ago on campus when the successes were much smaller. People get As, earned interships, got those first coveted kisses, and for some we were proud when they simply passed classes or drug tests. Their joy is my joy. And without question we are best side by side. But we don't need to be physical neighbors to collaborate. (And our livers would likely agree that it's for the best we live far away).
Obviously with a reunion it's impossible not to look back, and I've been reflecting a lot, looking back to see how far I've come, wondering what's next, and really thinking about what I WANT next. I can feel myself facing a transition. I can't tell if it's a physical move or a professional move but I recognize that in myself lately. In no less than six conversations I had people offer networks, conversations, to pass resumes, and even a couch to live on. They still hope with me and are willing to work for me to ensure my happiness and success. And since no one lives in Greencastle after graduation, I literally have a community across the world.
And that is DePauw. My DePauw experience continues every day and college is not just the greatest four years of my life, but four AMAZING years leading to the greatest life that I can dream.
Two more hours of pacing, refreshing emails unnecessarily, and even sending emails to make sure that we could receive emails. A long long evening. And then we received the joyful news that our new "little" (9lb) man had arrived and that everyone was doing fine. I was at a concert when I got the email. Cried in public. And this particular band has three synthesizers, so not like some emo shit where it was easy to hide the fact that I was uncontrollably crying with joy. I didn't care to hide it - I was truly thrilled.
So that and similar stories of sharing life events, transitions, fears, and sadness is where I am in my life. And really where I've been since I left DePauw. Yes I have a job. A great job, really. But I'm a pretty capable person and I would have gotten there without DePauw. But here's the thing. I can't imagine getting through any of my goods or bads without these ladies. Hell, just a random Tuesday is better when I have them at my side. And since graduation we have never had all of us in the same room at the same time, but that never changes our level of commitment and love for one another or desire to keep trying to get us in the same room.
Mi'ladies. Well some of them. Some just had a baby.
And really this weekend showed me the same thing about my graduating class as a whole. It became evident how much time we spent together back then. I had lunch at my sorority where I met most of my best friends. Toured the house, saw all my old rooms, and was flooded with great memories of those ladies. But it was at Beta, a house that I admittedly spent more time in than Theta, in the 5-man (room 10) that I started crying for truly missing college. But also tears filled with joy and thanksgiving for the memories that place provided me. A place that literally still smells of piss and clorox, with rotting couches, chipping paint, a room where I puked on a couch that I am certain I probably had at some point also made out on. I cried and laughed and walked down stairs to tell those same people that actually lived in that room that it was there and for our memories I cried. And they hugged me and asked if I really didn't remember puking on their couch.
For the record, I don't.
See, it's impossible to spend as much time together as we did for four consecutive years and not grow to love and want to support the people around us. And to see the dynamic, kind, funny, and no surprise successful men and women we've grown into makes me so proud and humbled by the company I keep it's overwhelming. But that all started years ago on campus when the successes were much smaller. People get As, earned interships, got those first coveted kisses, and for some we were proud when they simply passed classes or drug tests. Their joy is my joy. And without question we are best side by side. But we don't need to be physical neighbors to collaborate. (And our livers would likely agree that it's for the best we live far away).
Obviously with a reunion it's impossible not to look back, and I've been reflecting a lot, looking back to see how far I've come, wondering what's next, and really thinking about what I WANT next. I can feel myself facing a transition. I can't tell if it's a physical move or a professional move but I recognize that in myself lately. In no less than six conversations I had people offer networks, conversations, to pass resumes, and even a couch to live on. They still hope with me and are willing to work for me to ensure my happiness and success. And since no one lives in Greencastle after graduation, I literally have a community across the world.
And that is DePauw. My DePauw experience continues every day and college is not just the greatest four years of my life, but four AMAZING years leading to the greatest life that I can dream.
You should stick with these two. They're going places.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Seven...Seven...Seven...
10. Fiddy
9. God in signs and shit
8. Broooootherrrrrrrr
7. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King has our inner geekiness reeling. And have you ever seen a hotter group of fellas fighting the good fight? Nope.
9. God in signs and shit
8. Broooootherrrrrrrr
7. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King has our inner geekiness reeling. And have you ever seen a hotter group of fellas fighting the good fight? Nope.
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