Road Rage. Seriously.

I have a commute to work now. First time ever. 15 miles, about 30 minutes. Luckily against the flow of the worst traffic, but in a crowded part of town. For the first time ever I have learned that I have road rage. But that's because I was taught to drive by a man who loves cars. I learned how to drive efficiently, safely, smartly, and probably a bit too defensively. But here's the reality...

...rain does not require to slow down by 20 MPH. Seriously.

...approaching the highway at 35 miles per hour is not only dumb, it it legitimately dangerous. Seriously. Arg.

...Use your signal. Before you actually change lanes or turn, not during.

...Merge. Just try it. You go, I go. At the actual speed limit.

...Does everyone know why there are big lines drawn on the ground at intersections and stop lights? Physics. Not to be clever or suggestive. To be factual. If you don't want me to hit you when I turn, keep your car behind the line. Seriously. If this confuses you....google it.

...if you drive around a traffic jammed lane in an empty lane and cut off everyone to get into line without the wait, you're an ass. The rules still apply to you. I'm reminded about a sign at King's Island, "Line jumping is not a sport here at PKI". You wouldn't do it there, so what makes your believe your life is more important and entitled than mine? Nothing. And if you drive a sports car, I call the DUI hot line on you. You've been warned. Play fair and I will, too.

I leave you with this clip from John Stewart talking with Drew Barrymore. She confesses, "“I’m the worst driver. I’m totally a daydreamer and looking at the billboards and the signs and listening to music. But then I’m like ‘MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!’”. Admittedly, I drive like she does. The conversation continues to one of the greatest Societal theories I've heard.

Jon Stewart talking to Drew Barrymore:

JS: To me, the hallmark of civilization, and I believe this on its core foundational level, is the every-other-car merge at tunnels…

DB: Well, they don’t let you anymore, they have cones that say, like, don’t you dare.

JS: No, no, when you get up to that, and it’s like four cars, and it goes down to one. And everybody suddenly, no matter what, Jew, Muslim, gay, straight, black, white, it doesn’t matter, everybody just goes, ‘I’m next,’ ‘No, you’re next,’ ‘Please,’ and it’s like the zipper merge, and it really says, to me, this is why we don’t drink the same water we shit in anymore, because we are a civilized society. That’s my theory.

[Applause]

JS: Who the hell knows.

On a weekend when the world is bombing Lybia, there are many other signs that remind us how we're obviously worlds away from this euphoria. So in the mean time...buckle up.

Until then with much love.

ghg~