Welp...here we go.

I have been an athlete my entire life. All my life, with great exception of the past 10 years. In that time I have treated my body like temple ruins...not quite a temple. Last November 2 I ran my first mile since Freshman year of college. (That's 1999-I had not run since last century.) As mentioned before on this blog, I hate running, but I have challenged myself to my first 1/2 marathon which I will run on Saturday. I've trained for the past three months. Probably not enough, but considering I work two jobs I've been pretty pleased about my progress. I've fought shin splints, a bad back, figured out which sports bra works, and exactly how to lace my shoes to be comfortable for me. I know how much water it takes to keep my properly hydrated (nearly 100 oz a day), and have epically failed in learning how food will fuel my engine. I enjoy reading about races and how to prepare for them, and finding that I am still quite naive about the whole experience. But here we are!!!! 2 days out!!!!!!

I am scared shitless.

For what reason? No clue. I vaguely remember feeling this way about State and National meets, but this is for fun. This is for me. This is because I want to charge into my 30s.

Seriously. So. Effin. Scared.

I feel like I have jut gotten my body to where I should be to START training. So what 1/2 marathon is in 12 weeks and I'll just run that. Okay? Okay. Damn. Two days.

People promise me that my body won't forget my training (which is laughable...because I feel like it could, it wasn't that memorable...). So we'll see. But what's most interesting is that I'm remembering what it's like to prepare for something that I have control over. What I put into this is what I will get out of it. To have an goal in mind and to work hard towards that goal. And while I haven't dropped everything to focus on this, I've put a great deal into this adventure. And I guess I'm scared because I don't how it will end.

Today my dear friend CMB asked me what my BAHG (Big Ass Hairy Goal, as our running-adicted friend calls them) and I was able to answer without hesitation. First and foremost I think it will be a huge victory if I run the whole thing. Even if my feet barely get off the ground and it's hardly recognized as a run...goal number 1. Secondly, I will be pumped if I finish this thing in less than 2:30. But most importantly I hope to not be carted of by a medical team. And again, we'll have to wait and see how it all pans out.

What I do know is that I can now run 5 miles regularly when this time last year I was working my way up to a mile without stopping. And I do know that I have had inspiration and support from people I wouldn't have imagined. And I am thankful for you all. So the next time you see me...I'll officially be a runner. I am AMAZED to learn that in a time of my life when job rejections and terrible luck has plagued me, I am already a success story and an inspiration to myself.

Until then...with great love
ghg~